My “girlfriend” worked at a small amusement park and was dating one of the other carnies. I could never catch a break in the romance department. My first girlfriend’s parent paid her to date other guys. The string of rejections[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Part of the reason I lived with my parents that summer was so that I could be closer to my “girlfriend” who lived in Hayden Lake (of Neo Nazi fame). I went to visit her a few times, but I[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
My parents very proudly gave me a raccoon’s penis-bone toothpick. No. I have not ever used it.
This was actually kind of cool. There was a Czechoslovakian family that lived in the area and one of them had been an engineer or something in the mother country. He devised an elaborate system with a water tower, a[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Chickens are vile creatures that deserve to be our food. They are cannibals. They crow ALL day, and not just at sunrise. They are smelly and nasty. They are also delicious. Pigs are very smelly and nasty. They too are[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Given that it was my mother administering the first aid, I have to assume she used some sort of down home treatment. I imagine it involved a lighter, a needle and some tweezers. Post “surgery” probably involved her drug of[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I come from a long line of vocal injury people. We say, “Ow!” like we’re dying, but I’m pretty sure our pain tolerance is actually quite high. So, we can tell when one of us is hurt and when we’re[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Ah, mom. She really was drinking Greyhounds (Vodka and Grapefruit juice) at nine in the morning. She really did say it was five o’clock somewhere. I don’t know what else she was doing at the time. She might have been[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I know it seems odd for a young man to run screaming for his momma, like a little baby. Let me remind you, I had a tick INSIDE me.
Yes. I had a tick in my belly button. Yes. It is as horrible as it sounds. To date, I don’t like my belly button touched.
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