If you are ever presented with the opportunity to willingly place a wriggling maggot the size of your thumb into your mouth and chew it up, it may require some coaxing. They will try to convince you that it is in fact, “a sweetie!” You might think that means, “Sweet” or “Tasty.” In fact, it means “This is fucking nasty. Don’t ever eat this.” I dodged the maggot bullet and never got the chance to tell the Surinamese to spin.

There is another tasty snack known as “kwi kwi be.” Kwi kwi is a type of catfish. It looks like a plecostomus (one of those fish that sucks the glass in aquariums). “Be” is the word for “Belly.” I imagine it’s akin to the Louisiana dare of “Sucking the Head” from a crayfish. But, the offer is presented similarly to the writhing maggot. Hey, let’s see if the stupid American will suck the guts out of a catfish! We’ll tell ’em it’s sweet!

Fuck that. My friends were not as fortunate. Kwi Kwi Be was presented.